Happy Tuesday! It’s weird to be posting on a Tuesday (or at all, recently) because I never do. Today, I want to talk about a topic that I’ve never really discussed on my blog. That topic is…weight. Weight is a very sensitive topic to most people (I think), including myself. I don’t like to talk about it often because it is so sensitive and I’m also relatively sensitive about my own weight. I thought I’d open up a little and talk about my weight…scary.
So you know how over the summer everyone has their so-called “bikini body” or at least attempt to get their “bikini body”? Yeah, well I did the exact opposite of that…unintentionally. This summer, to me, was all about ICE CREAM and boy does it show. I literally have NEVER eaten so much ice cream in my LIFE. I think Drew, my boyfriend, and I got ice cream about 80% of the nights we were together. I have gained a pretty significant amount of weight from all the ice cream and all the sweets and let me tell you, I’m not too thrilled. You have to understand, I’m a 5’0″ girl…so any weight I gain is very noticeable unlike a 6’2″ boy (aka Drew).
My weight gain is not making me feel as confident as usual. I hate feeling heavier and I don’t like looking in the mirror and noticing my “thunder thighs”. I haven’t stepped on a scale yet because I’m too scared to see the numbers… like it’s an actual fear. My mom and I often compare our bodies (in a friendly way) and although I’ve always had bigger legs and arms than her, it’s usually not by too much. However, we recently did our monthly comparison and I was A LOT bigger…partly because she’s lost weight too. And it doesn’t help that my boyfriend is physically PERFECT…grrr but good for him. I know that gaining weight isn’t the be-all end-all and there are a lot of other things that I should be worrying about, but it just doesn’t make me feel as confident I guess.
With weight gain comes stretch marks. A lot of people have stretch marks…they’re very common actually. I’m not exactly sure when I first noticed my stretch marks on the side of my upper thighs, but I was not a fan and I’m still not. Honestly, their probably one of my biggest insecurities physically. I know you’re supposed to LOVE your body and whatever, but I don’t love these babies… along with some weight.
I do my absolute best to try and focus on my overall health via good nutrition and frequent exercise and not focus so much on my weight, but it’s so hard to not notice weight gain. It’s honestly stressful because it’s 10x harder to lose the weight than gain the weight. Society and social media tells us how we should look to be considered “hot” or “attractive”, so I totally feel the pressure to be as small as possible. Truthfully, I’ve never been a really small person (as in skinny because I’m definitely small as in short) and I don’t know if I ever will be.
The way people treat overweight people is significantly way worse than skinny people… and that’s not okay. When someone doesn’t meet society’s standards of beauty, they can receive the wrath of public judgement via social media or even from underhanded comments from those around them. I think more people need to walk a mile in their shoes before saying anything, because it’s likely that they are judging and critiquing themselves harder than anyone else ever could, so they don’t need any additional negativity.
I’m a firm believer that everyone deserves to feel comfortable in their own skin. Whether that be really skinny or heavier, it’s your own decision. If you’re not comfortable, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting to change the way your body looks and I don’t think there should be any judgement from anyone. It’s your own body, so you make your own decisions.
Thanks for reading! If you struggle with weight or body image, you’re not alone AT ALL. Hopefully, this topic can make a larger presence on my blog because I do find it interesting.