About a three weeks ago I broke up with my boyfriend of two years. He was my first boyfriend, my first love, and my best friend, so it was a pretty big decision that I made. You’re probably wondering why I broke up with him, but I’ll keep that to myself to respect his privacy and mine.
I learned a lot about myself in my first relationship, as do a lot of people. Everything I experienced was brand new, so I didn’t know how to deal with certain situations or certain emotions that would pop up. I feel like what I dealt with really taught me how to handle future relationships. However, I know that I have so much more to learn.
Things I Learned From My First Relationship
- Trust is Everything: Everyone knows that trust is one of the most important, if not THE most important thing in a relationship. Once that trust is broken, it is so hard to get it back. Trusting someone is really scary, but you definitely should be able to trust your significant other.
- I’m Emotional: If you know me personally, then you know I don’t show or share my emotions that often or at all. I HATE being vulnerable and I HATE people knowing how much I actually care about something. However, I was an emotional wreck in my relationship. I cried A LOT, which may or may not be a good thing, but hey at least it showed I cared.
- Communicating Feelings Sucks: Obviously communication is key in a relationship. You can’t expect your significant other to know exactly how you feel or what you want. I learned that I have the hardest time communicating problems and that I would rather just bottle everything up. I think my biggest problem was that I was scared of the outcome, but I shouldn’t be because my opinion should matter and should always be taken into consideration.
- Relationships are Expensive: Going to dinner, celebrating anniversaries, and spending holidays together… boy does it add up. When you’re single, you’re only paying for yourself, so it’s fine. But when you’re in a relationship, you’re paying for both people (obviously not every time). When you’re a college student, you don’t have the money to eat out all the time or buy nice gifts. It’s a rough life.
- Go With Gut Always: I’m sure you’re constantly told to “go with your gut” when taking an exam, but this also relates to relationships. Your heart and your gut should align, but if they don’t, I’d say go with your gut. It never fails you. There’s a reason why you’re experiencing two different emotions or thoughts. Love (the heart) makes you blind.
- Being Second Choice All the Time is No Fun: I have a lot of friends that I’ve known since elementary school and middle school. In fact, the majority of my friends I’ve known for 8+ years. I know that they’ll always be my friend no matter what, so I felt that I could put my relationship first at some points and put my friendships first at some points. When I was in my relationship, I was always second choice to his friends, but why? It was annoying and frustrating.
- I Know What I Want: The biggest and most important thing I learned from my first relationship is what I want in future relationships and how I want to be treated. This is so valuable because I’m not going to settle if I’m not happy. I had a pretty good first relationship, but I didn’t know what I wanted. Now I do… for the most part.
Relationships are so hard, but you learn so much about yourself from them. Life is just one large and never-ending school lesson. Take your experiences and learn from them and make new experiences.