How To Deal With Jealousy in a Relationship

Jealousy is something very difficult to deal with. It doesn’t just go away when you want it to. Actually, when you want it to go away, it seems to have an even greater presence. Annoying right?

I’ve had my fair share of jealous moments and thoughts. Actually more than my fair share… I’m not proud of it, but it is what it is. At the beginning of my relationship, I’d say my jealousy was pretty bad, just ask my boyfriend. My jealousy lead to more than a handful of fights, but just for the record, not all the fights were my fault. My boyfriend is awesome, but he’s no saint.

Now that I’ve been in a relationship for practically two years, I feel like I’ve finally come to terms with jealousy and I’ve figured out how to deal with those bad feelings. I’m not saying I don’t get jealous at all anymore, but I think I handle it a lot better and I try to not let it affect me as much.

Tips To Deal With Jealousy: 

  1. Express Your Feelings: When I say express it, I don’t mean do something crazy and make a scene. Don’t yell at your significant other because that is not going to end well. Just calmly bring up what exactly is making you feel jealous. They’ll hopefully be understanding or at least try and see where you’re coming from.
  2. Block What Is Bothering You: I think one big action that causes a lot of people to be jealous relates to Instagram likes. No one wants to see their significant other like photos of more attractive people. It just leads to a lot of comparisons and thoughts like “Oh so that’s what my boyfriend/girlfriend likes.” Unfortunately, we can’t just delete social media all together, but we can block accounts. It sounds kind of crazy, but I think it’s actually a lot better. I personally block certain accounts that my boyfriend follows and likes a lot on my Instagram because I don’t want to see it. If I see it, it makes me go crazy.
  3. Know Your Own Worth: Some people are really good at being confident. It comes naturally to them and it’s clear that they know they’re awesome. Everyone is awesome, but some people need a reminder by others. Let yourself be the reminder! Everyone deserves to be treated well by their significant other. Don’t forget that. You deserve the world! 🌎
  4. Trust: Trust your partner they won’t do something stupid. When your partner is being shady and hiding their phone, then obviously you’re going to be curious and jealous. It’s so obvious when someone is trying to hide their texts or Snapchats or Instagram messages! IT’S SO OBVIOUS! How do I know? Because I’ve dealt with that shit and it sucks. I’ve made a decision to put all my trust into my boyfriend. I’ve decided to trust that no matter how much he tries to hide his phone, he’s not doing anything shady that would put our relationship up for question. I’ve made a decision to trust that he actually cares about me a lot and that he wouldn’t hurt me under any circumstances. And I’ve made a decision to trust that he knows exactly how I would feel about whatever and that one stupid decision can lead to two people being single. I know it’s hard to put all that trust into one person, but ultimately, if they do any of those things to break the trust, then fuck them. It’s not worth your time at all. Remember you deserve the best! I deserve the best.

I hope this was helpful. Jealousy is a really sticky topic. I’ve dealt with it a lot in my relationship, so I feel like I’ve learned a lot. Just remember, it’s okay to be jealous, just stay calm and put yourself first!

~Taylor

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