I have been waiting to post this for a while because I didn’t want to miss out on any feelings or forget anything, but I think now is a good time to update you all on how I am doing with my long distance relationship.
A few blog posts back I mentioned how my boyfriend and I are doing long distance this year, while I am finishing school. I talked about the things I was excited about while being away from each other, as well as the things that I was nervous for. Here’s the link to that post so you can check it out: Long Distance Relationship. Today, I am sharing all my feelings and how I am adjusting! Enjoy! 🙂
Harry and I have really only been apart for about a month now, so not too long, but it still is very different from last year. Last year I had my best friend right downstairs, but now I have him an 8 hour drive away. I’ve had to make quite the adjustment if you ask me.
Honestly, the distance has been a lot easier than I expected. I thought I would be crying every single night and I thought I would have this void that couldn’t be filled, but instead, I feel as though I am making the most out of our situation.
I’m someone who is often stressed out and can never really relax. It sucks, but I can’t help it. Surprisingly, I don’t feel as stressed as I thought I would be. In fact, I feel as relaxed as I can be…for the most part. I think the distance has allowed me to focus on other aspects of my life, such as friends, school, work, etc. other than my relationship with Harry. I’ve had a ton of time to build stronger connections with people I wasn’t as close with in the previous years due to the fact that I spent the majority of my free time hanging out with Harry. I also have had more time to focus on my schoolwork. This term has been super hectic so far, so I’m kind of happy that I don’t have many distractions that are diverting me away from my schoolwork.
Also, Harry just started a new job… a big boy job! I am so proud of him and I think it helps him that I’m not home to distract him either. But I honestly have no clue what he things about this whole distance thing…I think he likes the independence more than anything.
From this short month, I feel like I’ve gained my independence again and I’ve realized that I don’t have to rely on Harry to be happy…even though he does make me really happy!
Obviously, with all the positives that come with long distance, there are negatives as well. The biggest negative is just missing the company of one another. Yeah we talk on the phone quite often and text everyday, but there’s nothing like actually being together in person. Harry is one of the funniest people I know and makes me laugh harder than anyone (even though I literally laugh at everything), so I miss that joy in my life. I also miss hugging him…he gives good hugs.
Going back to that whole me not being able to relax and chill thing, I do occasionally find myself stressing out because of the distance. I think it’s normal to wonder what the other person is doing or who they’re talking to or who they’re hanging out with. I don’t know why, but for the past few days I have been feeling so anxious about this. I think I just don’t want to be blindsided and find out Harry is talking to someone that he knows will make me feel uncomfortable. I feel like with distance, it’s easy to become just another person that your significant other texts daily. I guess I just don’t really feel special when I know that Harry is talking to other people and probably telling these other people the same things that he tells me. It’s also hard knowing your boyfriend is talking to other girls probably more attractive than you and potentially having stronger connections or better conversations with them over text. I’m not someone who is gorgeous, I’m just Taylor. I just want to know that I’m enough and that I’ll always be chosen over these other girls…sometimes it’s very unclear tbh. It’s the whole trust thing that I just can’t seem to grasp.
Sometimes I wish I could put our relationship in a box with no outside distractions. Clearly that is super unrealistic, but I wish.
Well I guess that’s it for my update…for now. I will probably do more updates every now and then, so stay tuned for that. If you have any advice on how to deal with long distance or want to share how you’re doing with long distance, feel free to message me.
Tags: boyfriend, longdistance, relationship