My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year now. We started dating at school, in Oregon, but also got lucky with the fact that we live 20 minutes away from each other in California. We’ve been able to see each other almost every day for the whole year we’ve dated. He recently graduated from school and moved back home, while I am about to start my last year of school. We will be away from each other for a few months at a time, which is just so different than what we are used to.
If you ask me if I’m looking forward to being in a long distance relationship, the answer is a hard NO. My boyfriend is my best friend and I don’t want to be apart for so long. I do think the distance will be good for our relationship though, I’m just scared that things will change too much. I wanted to share a few things I’m looking forward to and a whole lot of things I am concerned about for this next chapter in my relationship.
I’ll start off on a positive note. I think since being in a relationship, I haven’t put in as much effort with my friends, especially at school. Now that I won’t be have my boyfriend in Oregon, I’ll be able to put almost all my effort into my friends and hopefully just enjoy my last year in college. Also, I’ll be able to focus more on my classwork and really figure out what I want to do after school. There will be no distractions. Lastly, I feel like I lost my independence a little bit since I always had my boyfriend around, so I’m excited to get that back and just have some time for myself. It’ll be hard at first, but ultimately I think it will be good. I’m also hoping being apart for a while will make us appreciate each other more and appreciate our relationship.
I really wish there were no negatives, but of course there are. I’m scared to death just thinking about all the bad things that could happen while we’re away from each other. You always hear people talking about how long distance relationships don’t really work and how it is so hard and everything changes. That is the last thing I want to hear.
I think my biggest fear is secrecy. Now that my boyfriend and I will be separated for a long time, there’s so much he can get away with. I’m not saying he will, it’s just always a possibility. I hate the idea of him talking to other girls and flirting with them in person or over text just because he knows he can get away with it and that scares me so much! He could definitely say the same about me, but if you know me, you know how obsessed I am with my boyfriend and how much I love him. I would never even consider trying to hide talking to another boy. I want to be the first girl and last girl he thinks and talks to in a day and I want to be the person he loves talking to more than any other girl. Distance can make that hard.
I also have this fear of him forgetting me. This sounds dumb, but it does come up in my mind a lot. I know he’ll never actually forget, forget me, but I’m afraid that he’s going to be too busy to think about me or talk to me. I know I want to at least text him everyday, but I know somedays we won’t be able to talk as much. That’ll honestly give me anxiety, but that is something I’ll have to overcome.
Now it seems like I have way more negatives than positives, but really I think it will make our relationship grow and will be a good learning experience. All I can ask for is just honesty and faithfulness. I think that is more than reasonable. I want my boyfriend to choose me over any other girl because I would and am choosing him over any other boy. We’re going to be okay, more than okay. More about our long distance relationship to come in future posts…stay tuned!