I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what makes a good relationship between two people. This does not only include romantic relationships, but also extends to friendships. Is it being able to trust each other? Is it always having a good time? Is it having serious talks that are uncomfortable for both party? Is it just being able to sit in a car without talking and not feeling awkward? I would say a good relationship incorporates all those aspects.
Through my 20 years of living, I’ve learned that friendships come and go. That is such a cliche thing to say, but it is so true. I used to have best friends in middle school that I would do so much with, but now never talk to. I’ve learned to accept that some people are just not meant to be in your life forever. People are constantly changing and so I am. We grow up and we grow apart and that’s okay. Ultimately, we keep the people we really want to stay close with in our lives and we make an effort to keep a strong relationship with them.
Good friendships take time. I personally am not someone who says someone is my friend after the first time I meet them and have a conversation with them. It takes at least like 5 hangouts with someone for me to consider them a friend….and a lot more than 5 for someone to be my really good friend. I really try and focus on connections with my friends and just try and be my true self. I’m weird and if someone can’t except that, they’re not worth my time at all.
Honestly what makes a good romantic relationship? I don’t think there is a definitive answer to this. I really think it depends on the two people in the relationship. For me, a good relationship isn’t always about happy times. Fighting is healthy…for the most part. I tend to keep everything bottled up until I literally cannot do it anymore, which ultimately drives me crazy and does not lead to very fun fights. If I don’t end up saying anything though, something will always be in the back of my mind. I try and be as honest as possible with my boyfriend, but sometimes it is so hard.
I also think a good relationship is about putting in equal effort. I mentioned this above about friendship, but I think this applies in romantic relationships as well. You don’t want to be the person in the relationship who puts in all the effort. It’s exhausting and honestly it’s kind of hurtful. You’re supposed to be in this great relationship, but your significant other seems to not care as much…not a great feeling. Don’t let that happen to you.
Lastly, I think a good relationship involves trust. Trust seems like an easy thing to do, but it is honestly one of the hardest things. You want to trust that your significant other will always be there for you. You want to trust that your significant other won’t be flirty with the opposite gender through texting or social media. You want to trust that when your significant other says “I love you” they actually mean it. But for some reason, it is so hard to trust your partner for all of those things. At least that is what I deal with on a daily basis. Honestly, trust controls my emotions. When I feel as though I can’t trust my boyfriend, I go crazy inside. I don’t always let it show on the outside, but I do drop subtle hints. It is really hard for me to trust someone who has previously lied to me. I know when someone is lying to me. It is so obvious and it drives me CRAZY. Your significant other shouldn’t be lying to you about ANYTHING.
Deep down, I know that everything I worry about is true and it is there, but there’s still hope that something will change… that I will be the girl who will be chosen over any other girl. There’s hope that when I say I don’t want my boyfriend to do something, he will ACTUALLY listen to me because he see’s where I’m coming from and respects my feelings over his own wants. Who knows though… I may be setting myself up for failure. I just have to trust MYSELF that I’m making the right decision to trust my boyfriend to do the right thing for our relationship. See… I am trusting.
So yeah this was really long, but it was nice to just get out all my thoughts. I keep them all to myself, when really I shouldn’t have to. I highly recommend just writing your thoughts down in a journal or something, but it makes your mind a lot more clear!